Simplexity

The desire to live a simpler life shows up quite often. My picture of it is to be a homeless person at Venice Beach in California, to make enough money every day to eat and drink a nice cup of coffee, for example by telling people about themselves using my intuition, reading tarot cards, being silent with people, or having spiritual conversations of some kind. I would sleep in the warm open air, meditate, look at the sea and look at the sea of people, ponder life and try to be in the moment. The desire is a bit extreme, yet quite real. It is a different version of being a monk, trying to find meaning through the simplicity of life. Herman Hesse portrays it so beautifully in his book Siddharta when he describes how Siddharta lives at the river and learns from the water while taking travelers across the river with a ferry. The desire is real and at the same time a mixture of fantasy, projection and escape.

The fact is that I have created and live a complex life. I left my family’s life style and moved abroad to become a celibate priest and spiritual director, subsequently left the priesthood to share my life with a man, a man with a different color, nationality and language. Eventually, we decided to adopt children and entered a set of unusual relationships with the mothers of our boys. The navigation of the legal system and agencies seemed like a walk through the wilderness. Currently we live in Holland, yet work abroad and created an international organization. There is nothing simple about our lives.

The tension between the desire to live more simple and the creations of a more complex life is at times a serious challenge.

And yet, in my better moments I can see how the seemingly extreme opposite sites of the spectrum inform, enrich, inspire, and influence each other. The complex becomes more manageable applying the concepts of simplicity. And simplicity becomes richer and fuller knowing about and living complexity.

In a meeting with a dear friend today, we talked about complexity and simplicity. In a moment of insight a new word came: simplexity. Simplexity is when simplicity and complexity are complimentary (thank you Anjet and thank you Wikipedia), when the complex is in the service of the simple and right. Adopting our children was a complex and simple act. Being a shoe fairy for a family in need requires the complexity of enough money being made to let the shoes magically appear. Being the chair of the local arthritis foundation is an act of simplexity. Creating a silent event in a chaotic 90-people conference is also about simplexity, and so is the five-minute meditation together before the children go to school. Understanding and valuing the complexity of the simple acts and bringing some simplicity to complex acts is simplexity.

This simplex life that we have created seems - at least for the moment - less challenging and more inviting.