Background

I am on my way to Lausanne to do some work for the International Institute for Management Development, which among other institutions, experiences, professions, places and people has been part of the Search.  An initial answer to my search was my baptism at the age of twenty in the Roman Catholic Church, but it turned out that the answer only raised more questions.  A year later I was “reborn” and found God, which eventually led to entering the Society of Jesus.  Directing 30-day silent retreats and providing spiritual direction were wonderful temporary answers with even more wonderful questions raised.  Being ordained a priest, which I had so longed for was definitely not the answer, the way most people wanted or expected me to be felt like a prison.  Coming out as a gay man somewhere during those years was helpful but it did not satisfy the Search

The Search continued, leaving the Jesuits, working as a psychotherapist, falling in love and living with my love, starting my own liturgy, co-creating a business, being deeply involved in group relations work, adopting and raising children, working as an international coach and consultant, painting, writing a few articles, helping people find themselves … all are important, none satisfied the Search.

Encounters and experiences, people and places, music, movies and books influence the direction of the Search and help shape the journey. Some of those stories will be told on this blog, stories that help make some sense of the journey, the Search.

To be continued…

The Search

The search has always been there.  The journey is about discovering meaning and purpose, about living spirituality, about relating to the More, about understanding my silence, about connecting seemingly disparate phenomena, about living love, about making sense of the underlying principles in my life and other people's lives, about understanding the deep energy that is inside and outside of me and each of us, and about so many other things.  During this journey I have learned much, found truths and lost them again, encountered people and have developed a deep respect for The Search.  

Of course this search comes in waves, always present, calm, violent, beautiful, fierce, lulling, forceful and so on. In my life The Search shows in big and little ways. The story of my search is waiting to be told.  The search is quite present now, activated in a new and different way - a week after an event called the Collective Consciousness Conversation.

The event caused the familiar holy unrest.  Do I want to attend a mystery school, or do shamanic training, learning how to read auras, or learning how to channel my energy more productively, return to deeper silence, continue my Tarot book, write more journal, be a different kind of priest, change jobs? The holy unrest is helpful and shook me up, like a puzzle that suddenly multiplied in size and fell apart - waiting to be put together again.  The conversation with my friend H today was helpful in realizing that the drop longs for the ocean and already knows the ocean.

  

I decided to build on what is already present and expand on it, rather than learning something totally new.  I think.  The idea came to me of writing about what I already know about The Search and what I am discovering as I continue the journey of The Search.  That is what this blog is about.